My Journey from
Anxiety and Panic

to Peace & Joy!

It was Christmas, and I had been on holidays for a few weeks and understood I had been experiencing anxiety for the last week or so, and tomorrow was to be my first day back to work.  I arrived home from being down the coast for a few days and drove into my garage, and I sat in car crying my eyes out and hitting the steering wheel. I don't know how long I was sitting there for, as when arrived home and it was light, and by the time I got out of my car it was pitch black.  At that time in my life, I felt I didn't have a care in the world, I thought to myself, why is this happening to me?

The next morning I woke to my alarm at 6am, and my pillow was saturated with tears, I had been crying in my sleep, and I felt totally broken.  Unable to get myself out of bed, I called home and dad was at my place a short time later and with his support, I went to the doctor.

I had always been extremely healthy and fit, and I could count the amount of times I had been to the doctors on one hand, over the past 30 years.

My consultation with the doctor left me feeling even more overwhelmed, in short, his solution was Valium for the rest of my life, unless I was able to heal from this debilitating illness.  An hour or so later, with the insistence of the doctor and my father, I agreed to take the Valium for one week; as it was obvious I couldn't cope, as I was. And that was what I did.

My boss was fabulous he advised his daughter was also suffering with anxiety and panic, and I should take the time off to address my health, but I was insistent and I was back to work the following Monday.

That week I started  my sessions with a Psychiatrist, and though I completed the therapy; there was no difference in my health, in actual fact, my health was deteriorating and I was having several panic attacks a day. 

At the time, I was working for Ford Motor Company in the Sales and Marketing Department in Sydney, and from memory their were 16 in our department.  Little did I know, in addition to my bosses daughter, two of my colleagues also suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and both had been on medication for years.

For me long-term medication wasn't an option, I had to heal, and I knew it was up to me to find a solution, I was also resilient, but I was unaware how resilient I would need to be, to get back to good health... but I was determined.

On my Worst Days

I was having a dozen panic attacks a day and would even struggled to cross a busy road the fear within me was so great. Fearful, I would run into the traffic, I would often stand with my arms wrapped around a telegraph pole waiting for a break in the traffic.

One of my greatest fears each week was the weekend, as each week I didn't know if I would have the courage to return to work the following Monday.  It was always, just keep putting one foot, in front of the other, to move forward, and that is what I did. One step at a time!

Even though I knew absolutely nothing about holistic healing, it was an avenue I was prepared to navigate. People have been on the planet for millions of years, and throughout time, history tells us that there have always been healers and diverse healing modalities. Ancient healers employed various therapies, and every country developed its own unique forms of healing practices. These holistic approaches often encompassed a wide array of techniques, from herbal medicine and acupuncture to energy healing and meditation. By exploring holistic healings, I hoped to uncover the wisdom and effectiveness of these time-honoured traditions and ultimately regain my health and peace of mind.

So, begun my journey, I tried every holistic healing I was introduced to and they all gave me relief for a short time, it was like pealing back a layer at a time.  Eventually, my healings became less frequent, as I began to make progress.  Though, there were a few occasions where I would have a crisis occur and my health would plummet, but what I was able to understand eventually, is on those crisis days, I was ready to deal with something, therefore it was actually a good thing, not that I felt good; and I was fortunate to have a healer on hand, and we would address what was rising up for me. Overtime, these crisis days became less frequent, and my sense of peace was beginning to return. 

My Greatest Fear

Driving over bridges was unbearable, and it didn't matter whether it was a footbridge or the Harbour Bridge, the panic would escalate.  I would learn this is a common fear and even though my health improved significantly, it took some years before I could travel over bridges with complete ease and grace.

For many years, my health had been great, but there was one bridge that stood out, Mooney Mooney Bridge. For those of you who live on the Central Coast, you may be familiar with the Mooney Mooney Bridge, as it has a reputation for being uncomfortable to travel for many. Despite my initial struggles, I eventually overcame my fear and now cross the bridge with confidence, embracing the journey with a newfound sense of calm.

My Gratitude for the Anxiety and Panic Attacks

I know many may find this hard to believe, and it was difficult, but I am profoundly grateful for the journey, and overcoming anxiety and panic attacks has been completely transformative for me. Reflecting on this experience, I can say with certainty that I wouldn't be the person I am today without it. The struggle led me to discover a deep passion for holistic healing, a field that has changed my life in unimaginable ways. Through this journey, I learned invaluable lessons about resilience, self-care, and the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. Embracing holistic practices has not only helped me heal but has also empowered me to live a more balanced and fulfilling life. In addition, I met many, many like-minded people and I am now apart of a large community who really cares for humanity.

Some of the modalities I love and, I have experienced are as follows:

Kinesiology, Family and Soul Constellation, Gestalt Therapy, Body Talk, Reiki, NLP and my favourites Theta Healing and Past Lives.



What would I do different?

Not much, but get to good health more quickly; therefore I would dive-in and find possible solutions and healings without delay, stay focussed, don't put it off to next week, next month, or next year. I would  have allowed change into my life more quickly and I would have released myself from the expectations of society, therefore releasing myself from my internal pressure to get everything right. 

I now know the Creator of all that Is, and spirit are always sending messages; these signs are stepping stones to the next step and so on.  From there I would stay true to my authentic-self and follow my guidance.

I have been blessed to witness many spontaneous healings and even some that would be considered miracles where western medicine didn't have a solution or had exhausted their options... We need to believe that all things are possible, and be open to receiving.

With Love and Gratitude 💚💜